Closet Phobia
by saichanlovestoad
Summary: Updated Again! Riley comes out of the closet and learns how to be gay in Woodcrest. Based after the episode 'Story of Gangstalicious Part 2'.
1. And It Begins

A/N- I do not own any of these characters. This story is based off the Boondocks episode 'Story of Gangstalicious' Part Two, which is not the episode where Licious gets shot. If you're a fan of Boondocks yaoi, you MUST see this episode. MUST. Ain't seen it? Try It'll be up until Feb 8th. You reading this after that? PM me and I'll fill you in on the clips you have to see. Love ya.

That being said, this story is a totally fucking spoiler for the episode. I mean, complete spoiler. But it's okay, because I told ya, so, y'know, I can't get flamed. (Does the Homie Dance with ya).

Pictures from this story will be hitting my account in a few days. PM if you interested in finding out my info. Peace.

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

The Freemans' sat around the dining room table, not one of them smiling. Huey was tapping his book, absentmindedly planning some destructive plan involving President Bush and a pipe bomb. Granddad had his head in his hand, unable to say anything at first. Riley sat stiffly, his hands folded on his skirt. No one spoke. They just remained in each other's presence for a while. Then Granddad sighed and looked over at the suitcases and boxes piled in the living room. He stared long and hard at them, then back at where his youngest grandson was playing with the hem of the tan thing. A moan escaped and he went right back to ignoring them. Huey's eyes glazed over, completely leaving the realm of his family. Had he been less dignified, he probably would've slipped out of his chair entirely. Next to him, his younger brother smoothed out the fabric that fell a few inches above his knees. His legs kicked back and forth as he thought about the night before and the conversation he'd had with Gangstalicious after confronting the rapper about his sexuality.

He knew, hands down, Licious had lied to him. He'd seen it in his face the whole time they'd hung out and played video games in the older man's limo. His favorite rapper was gay. Worse then that, though, was the fact that he'd finally realized that he himself was gay. Riley had come out of the closet only hours beforehand, to both his relatives. He wasn't so sure he was okay with it. After all, he'd freaked out so badly when he'd seen Licious kissing another man that he'd constructed a lie just to hide from it. Yet, he knew now, as Huey had explained to him the night before, that he'd done that because he was terrified of his own sexuality. Years of being rigorously taught that being gay meant he was somehow less of a man had inadvertently made him homophobic. Sitting there in a mini skirt, with painted toe nails, and a shirt short enough to pass for a bra, however, he couldn't say he wasn't extremely comfortable. He loved the way he looked in the clothing he'd been given by Licious. He liked dancing with other guys. He liked the purse he got to carry around. He liked shopping for clothes and shoes and jewelry. He liked ice and diamonds and glitter. For so long, he'd just pretended he liked all that because he was a thug and such. The skirt, of course, was the ice breaker. He was gay. Not only was he gay, he was a gay drag queen. Accepting that at the tender of eight, well, it hadn't been easy. As a matter of fact, he'd sobbed all night long, held by his grandfather. He still wasn't sure he was really accepting of it. But, after spending so much time listening to Licious fight what he was, he'd figured life would be better he just came out of the closet and embraced what he'd somewhat always known about himself.

Riley 'Esco' Freeman was a homo.

" Alright..." Granddad said in a low tone, looking up. He took in a shaky breath that attracted the attention of both grandsons. Huey shook his head, ridding himself of his day dream, whereas Riley jumped and looked up with large, fearful eyes, " Okay... Riley... is... g-g-gay..." there was a brief pause, " So... you two won't be sharin' a room anymore... now the guest room is for my cutie pies... so... Riley... you're movin' to the garage... I'll park Dorothy outside fer ya..."

Riley nodded, gripping the edge of his skirt. Huey's eyes kind of lit up, as much as they ever did. Granddad stared at them, as if in awe that this was actually happening. Then he shuddered and got to his feet. The revolutionary hopped up, a bit of excitement crossing into his usually apathetic expression. He went to start grabbing boxes to move his brother permanently out of his hair. As soon as he was gone, Granddad turned to where the younger was still sitting. Riley was shaking, fighting back fresh tears. There was another sigh, then Granddad placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a hard squeeze.

" Boy... I know this... is a difficult thing to... um... deal with... but... it's okay... I ain't gonna throw you out... Ya just have ta promise yer Granddaddy one thing," he said, holding up one finger. Riley looked up at him with those pretty tearful eyes. A moment passed between the two of them, in which it seemed that something profound was going to be said, " You wouldn't bring home any of your faggot boyfriends when you get older,"

" O-okay... I promise..." Riley whispered, wiping away his tears. Granddad let out a loud breath of relief, patting the boy's shoulder. Then he went to help Huey move all the boxes to the garage, shouting that if the thug didn't feel like doing any heavy lifting because of his nail polish, it was okay.

* * *

Within the hour, the garage was cleared out of everything potentially dangerous or chemical and Riley's new bedroom was set up. A bed had been moved downstairs by Granddad and Tom, who'd come over to give his support. Then all of the boy's junk had either been plastered to the walls or stuffed in a dresser provided for his clothes. Granddad assured his little grand baby that if he needed another dresser to store his clothes or shoes, he'd get him one in a hot second. Tom offered to teach him how to tango or whatever should he be interested. Huey didn't say a word. He just moved the stuff and bolted off to fix up his own new bedroom; he wasn't offered any help. Riley just put everything up and watched as the two adults argued about him having a garage opener so he could let his boyfriends in so they didn't have to walk through the house. They agreed it was for the best if he didn't and left him in peace. When they were gone, the boy stood in the middle of his wood and cement room and looked around.

Everything still appeared to belong to a thug. The posters were of basketball stars and rappers and the hoop was attached to the wall above his bed. Most of his clothing were still baggy pants and loose shirts with logos from companies on them that had been endorsed by someone. Countless boots and sneakers lined the wall, along with his stacks of CDs and such. Aside from the skirts and short tops and sandals, everything was as manly as it got. However, when he glanced around, he saw all the signs he'd ignored. He saw all the clues that had pointed to his preference. Not a single thing was from a female. For years, he'd just avoided the fact that all those hoes and pretty girls didn't do it for him. Now, it just seemed blatantly obvious. So very obvious.

A whine escaped his mouth as he pulled on the hem of his skirt. He wasn't sure if he was cringing from the fact that he was embarrassed about not realizing it or because he thought he looked really hot. Either way, he grimaced and quickly pulled it off. He yanked the shirt off and tossed it onto the floor. Hastily, he jerked on some jeans that hid his toe nails and a hoodie about three sizes too big. Instantly, he looked thuggish again.

Somehow, the look didn't seem right on him anymore. He felt weird in such an outfit. A poser, for sure. Fake, one hundred percent. He couldn't wear anything that made him feel like the thing he hated the most. The unnerving feeling that everyone could see through him was too much. Groaning, Riley stripped down to his tight boxers and went to pick up the skirt again. Seeing it covered in dust, however, made him rethink pulling on an outfit resting on the oily floor of his bedroom. Instead, he shuffled over to his dresser and searched for something else to wear. He settled for a shirt of the same fashion, only in pink, and a black skirt. The combo worked, he thought, as he examined himself as best he could. Of course, he thought, now his toes didn't match. He'd have to change that. Fighting the thought that he was turning into a regular gay just by having accepted the fact, he ruffled through his stuff, looking for some new nail polish.

" Dammit. This fucked up. How the hell I only gots clear an' honey? That's gay... fuckin' messed up..." he snapped, sinking down on his plush mattress. A moment passed in which he pouted and sulked, fussing over his skirt and toes and everything. Then he snapped his fingers, slipped into his black sandals, and hurried out the door and into the house. His grandfather and Tom were talking about the rules they should enforce about boyfriends when he trooped into the room. A hush fell over the room, " Yo, Granddad, can we go shoppin'?"

" What? Why, Riley?"

" I need new nail polish. I only got two colors up in here. That's some ol' bullshit. If I be gay, I be fuckin' fly gay, ya heard? I need ta match an' this color don't work with my skirt," he exclaimed, hands on his hips as he talked. Both mens' faces fell dramatically as he talked, but he was unaffected, " Come ta think 'bout it, it's 'bout time I got some new threads, aiight?"

" Oh, Gawd, it begins!" Granddad moaned, grabbing at his hair. Tom happily patted Riley on the shoulder as he said he could get the boy some of the clothes Jazmine didn't wear anymore. Both the Freemans' gave him harsh, penetrating stares that ran down his spine and broke part of his soul off. The thug burst out in a furious tone, his hands moving with each word towards his outfit.

" Nigga! I wouldn't be caught dead in that girly crap! I wanna look like a gay thug, not a girl!" Riley shouted, stomping his foot in aggravation. Before Tom could respond, Granddad turned on him with the family fury.

" Are you sayin' I can't afford to dress my grandson!! I'll have you know I don't need no charity! I can pay for Riley's gay ass make up and his gay ass nail polish and his gay ass clothes on my own, Tom! If my grandson wants to wear a dress, _I_ will be buying it for him! And for your information, _Tom_," there was a pause as Granddad grabbed Riley's upper arm and steered him around the stunned attorney, " Your daughter's clothes went out of style last sea-son! Let's go, boy. We don't have to stand here and be insulted! Not in my damn home!"

" B-But... I... wasn't..." Tom tried to protest, but the two were already gone. The door slammed shut as Huey drifted by. They looked at one another, somewhat in pity for the other, " So, Huey... how's it feel to know your brother's gay?"

" Huh? Riley? I've known he was gay for years. I can't believe it took y'all this long to figure it out," he stated in a deadpan voice, giving the older man the same degrading look he always did when his intelligence outshone an educated adult. Tom twitched, that old hatred burning back to life, " I mean, I expected Granddad to be oblivious until Riley figured it out, but you, Mr. Dubois... I thought yer whole anal rape thing would make you hyper sensitive to this kinda thing... oh well. I don't care. I'm just glad I finally got my own damn room. Bye,"

With that, Huey marched up the stairs. His fro bounced as he headed happily back to his own room, leaving Tom downstairs to fend for himself. So as not to be yelled at later, when the others came back, he just helped himself to some chips and left, locking the door behind him as he went.

* * *

By the time Granddad was done proving he could provide for his grandson's new lifestyle, Riley had a couple grand worth of new outfits and accessories. The backseat and trunk were stuffed with bags, each one of which was jammed with boxes and clothes and make up and shoes and purses and everything. It took about ten minutes just to move the load from the trunk to Riley's room, with the garage door open and all. Another half hour went by as the boy emptied out all his old thug clothes and stuffed his drawers full of the new things. Smiling with sheer happiness, he stood back and admired his reflection in the new full length mirror his Granddad had picked out so he could scrutinize his appearance like real women and gays did, presumably. He tried on some of his favorite outfits, smoothing the fabric over his curvy hips. He knew he ought to have a problem with the look of him in such femmy clothes, but he didn't. He just adored it.

In a way.

There was a nagging voice in the back of his head that told him this wasn't right. He couldn't say it was the Bible or religion or God. He'd never been very religious. The whole concept had gotten in the way of his hooligan lifestyle, no matter which way he tried to mold it. Thus, he'd given up on it altogether. Nevertheless, he stood there, hands rubbing the sides of his bare waist, and felt a little ashamed of himself. Perhaps it was Licious, telling him over and over that he wasn't gay, therefore making it obvious that being gay in their world wasn't right. He knew that, of course. He also knew he looked amazing in that mini skirt with those cute ankle boots and short shirt.

" Man... why can't I just be happy wit who I is?" as he said it, he hugged himself with sorrow written on his young face. Slowly, he collapsed to his knees and sat there, shivering in his isolated room. Tears trickled down his face, " Why I gots to be gay? Why I gots to like this? Why I gots to hate this? Why can't I just like this? What's so damn w-wrong with it? What's wrong wit me wantin' ta dress this way? Ain't hurtin' no body..."

Hiccuping, he sobbed to himself. No one else appeared to hear his cries, leaving him to face his sorrows alone. In the end, Riley just curled up in his bed and rolled a bottle of hot pink nail polish around on his sheets. He longed to find someone to talk to about everything going through his head. Yet, the only gay man he knew refused to admit his secret. Everyone else was either straight or asexual. They'd never questioned their sexuality. They'd never wanted to wear a skirt. They'd never felt this way. Of that he was sure. Therefore, he just laid there and cried, wishing he could run to his family and ask them for advice. He knew he'd just end up embarrassed or even more confused.

Unfortunately, his choking sobs drew the attention for him.

The door opened and footsteps walked over to the bed as he sat up, wiping away his tears though they kept coming. His granddad gingerly took a seat next to him, gazing down at him in an uncertain way. They stared at each other for a moment. Then, Riley was swept into a tight hug, his head cradled against his grandfather's shoulder. The gesture was reminiscent of the evening before when the closet door had been opened thanks to Licious. That alone calmed the boy as he squeezed the older tight, curling his tiny body into the lap of his guardian. Granddad stroked his hair, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.

" I'm sorry, boy... it's okay. I'm not okay with this, but I'm okay with you... I never thought I'd have this problem. Not with you, anyways... I tried to stop this... but I know it's who you are... and that's okay, boy..." he stumbled for the correct words, holding onto Riley's shoulders and looking down at that feminine creature looking right back at him. He took in those big eyes, that short top, that skirt, those boots, and he had to fight a rather violent scream. He swallowed it painfully and took his grandson's hands in his, " I'm going to need some time... to adjust... to this... but... that doesn't mean... I hate you... it's okay, okay, boy?"

" 'Kay..."

" But don't get used to the shoppin' sprees. That's it. You're spent. You're on your own, boy. You want you some new shoes, you get out there and get yourself a sugar daddy like everyone else," he finished, standing up and pointing at all the discarded bags. Riley blinked, then cracked a smile as his grandfather nodded and left, deeming everything alright.

For a couple of minutes afterwards, Riley just sat there, glancing around at all his new things and the pile of his old clothes. Then he gave a laugh and fell back against his pillow. A smile crossed his face as he shook up the nail polish and it's lovely color swirled. He had a whole new wardrobe, his own room away from his entire family, and no one was screaming about him being homosexual. Things were going pretty good, considering. As soon as he rid himself of that nagging voice, he knew things would be perfect. He just needed to find a way around that. Until then, he just stuck cotton balls between his toes and started to wipe off the old color so he could apply the new one.

To be honest, he could get used to this lifestyle.


	2. Telling the Homies Pt 1

A/N- Well, yeah, I have a real good reason for not updating. My old fanfiction "Into the Dark" was completely reworked and is set to be published by the end of the summer under the name Sai-Chan. Yup. I'm gonna be a real author. Scary, ain't it? Anyways, I've got one last editing to do and it'll be ready. The plan is to have it out by the beginning of July, but I'm not sure. I just moved, so yeah...

Anyhoo, I finally had enough time to spare to update this place. Of course, my first selection is the story where the lovely, wonderful Riley dresses in drag. I redid this chapter breakdown, so I like it again. It didn't flow beforehand... but, I redid it... so.. Yay!

Also, I forgot to add the chapter title to the first chapter because I don't normally do that. But chapter one's official title was 'And it Begins'.

And now I get to add a warning: this story will contain intensely sexual references. Yay. I'm warning you ahead of time, some borderline pedophilia, but it's all in harmless fun. No one in this story is a pedophile and it will never get to that in any of my stories, so rest assured. There are some lines even I won't cross. And that's saying a lot... with my record...

So, anyways, here you go. Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

Two days slipped by without any of the Freeman's noticing. Huey and Riley were both adjusting to their new sleeping arrangements and Granddad was attempting to rationalize having one of his worse fears confirmed. Granddad's plight was failing miserably and he was left continually getting advice from Tom over the phone; ignoring that the younger man was actually working. The boys', however, found themselves enjoying their new lives to the fullest. The older enjoyed the quiet and solitude, which was something he'd never been able to achieve while his loudmouthed brother was bunking with him. As for Riley, he was merely enjoying the ability to be as loud as possible without a single complaint, even if his grandfather broke out in a choked scream every time he spotted him in one of his brand new skirts.

Once the two days of adjustment had passed, though, the reality of the situation began to settle over the elegant house. The reality was simple: Riley was gay. The situation, on the other hand, was the exact opposite of simple: Riley was gay. As Granddad had stated, things would never be the same. Whereas Huey was emotionless about it all, having foreseen it since their infancy, Granddad was at a lost as to what to do. He didn't know what to say or whom to blame for this. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to get used to it and was even more unsure as to whether he wanted to in the first place. He had a distorted image of gays, he knew. He'd always thought that they were decent human beings, but that they were somehow less human. That they were damned by God and complete wimps with a love of feminine things and whatnot. He'd never been friends with one, that he knew of anyways, and now had to face the idea of raising one. He wasn't sure how to approach that. Did he raise Riley as a boy or as a girl? Were there separate rules to raising a gay? What did he do about the clothes?

In truth, he felt like he was suddenly faced with a terminally ill child and none of the doctors could tell him what to do about it. That would definitely sum up how he was feeling when he stood in the kitchen that morning, staring down at where Riley was standing in front of him. The boy was dressed in mini shorts and a semi loose T-shirt with the word 'Hoe' splashed over his chest. They stared at each other for a moment, then a minute, then a couple minutes, then even longer. Neither moved an inch. Riley blinked finally and kind of shrugged. That's when Granddad let out a moan and covered his face with both hands.

" Oh, Lord! What! What do you want, boy!" he hollered, peeking through his fingers at his grandson. Those large eyes got an embarrassed look, " You're not getting another dime, do you hear me!"

" I don-" he started before he was cut off.

" Good! You damn boys cost me too much as it is! Why you gotta change yer clothes! Can't you be gay in jeans!?" he demanded, his voice rising slightly. Riley blinked again.

" Can I go over ta Thugnificent's?" he asked instead, ignoring the question completely. Granddad opened his mouth to say no, then figured it would get him out of the house.

" Be back before dinner," he said, before twisting around to the stairs, "HU-EY!! GET DOWN HERE AN' WALK YER BROTHER ACROSS THE STREET!!" his voice broke the former silence of the house. There was a banging sound, then the older of the boys came marching over in a complete huff.

" Excuse me?" Huey said, as though he hadn't heard the loud scream just a few seconds ago, " Did you just tell me to walk Riley across the street?" Granddad snapped that he was correct. The revolutionary's eyes narrowed in what may have been confusion, then switched straight into annoyance, " Why? It's just across the street."

" So? Can't you walk him? Is that so much to ask? Yer granddaddy never asks anything of you and now you can't even do this one thing? Yer so damn selfish Huey! Now walk yer brother across the street to that damn rapper's and make sure he gets there!" the elderly man pointed towards the front door as the brother's exchanged equally bewildered looks, " Are you de-af? Walk yer brother across the street!"

" Riley can walk himself. He's done it a million times before. I've got Caesar comin' over an-"

" Boy, don't you gimme that bullshit! You walk Riley across the street! He's gay now and those gays are always gettin' kidnaped and raped and killed on the news! So you take him over there right now! And I don't wanna hear anything else about it, Huey!" he commanded, before snatching the phone off the counter, " Now you be home by dinner, boy, and don't bring any of your queer friends with you."

With that, Granddad left the room without so much as a glance back at the two of them. Huey gave his brother an icy cold look, then walked off as well. Riley sulked after him, shoving his hands into his pockets. He didn't bother to ask the older to wait while he got some shoes. He just went barefoot. As the revolutionary marched his way down the driveway, his brother hung his head and pouted like the feminine creature he was. He couldn't believe he needed an escort simply because he'd come out of the closet.

Of course, that was the kind of new rule he expected from his grandfather. Ever since that first evening, things had been tense. Naturally, he was the one who felt it most. All his life, he'd been allowed to do whatever it was he wanted. He'd been given permission to hang out with international criminals, ride on top of cars, get into fights, make bets, have adult friends, play on the web as much as he wanted to, and have guns. He'd arranged robberies, more then two kidnaping, illegal parties, TV scams, and more. He'd gotten away with car heists, car chases, vandalism, and more and only gotten the bare minimum punishment. All that, and now that he was gay, he was suddenly faced with all these rules and restrictions. He couldn't go out after dark, couldn't stay in the house, couldn't share the same bathroom as his brother, couldn't talk on the phone for more then an hour, couldn't leave the house without permission, couldn't have friends over, and now he couldn't go anywhere without an escort. He felt like he was being tied down and caged merely because his sexuality differed from his guardian's. He'd known that there would be changes. He'd known that. Of course he had. But not like this. He almost felt punished, like he was being grounded or something because of his sexuality. After having shared a moment with Granddad, where it had been established that this was okay, he hadn't expected this severe of a reaction. He'd thought things would be somewhat different, but that the most dramatic change would be his new bedroom. Boy, had he been wrong, he sourly thought. He couldn't win for losing. The feeling was anything but pleasant.

As Riley let out a sigh, his shirt was grabbed and he was ripped nearly off his feet. A scream tore out as he slammed into Huey and they collided with the pavement. A car whizzed by a second later, horn blaring. The younger Freeman hadn't even heard it, let alone seen it.

" Dammit, Riley! Pay attention!" the older shouted, boxing him over the head as he pushed him out of his lap. Riley hissed as he fell onto his side, holding his now throbbing head, " Jesus! Yer gonna get yourself killed if you just stand in the middle of the fucking road, you stupid nigga! What the hell were you doing!"

" I was thinkin'!"

" Well you ain't never used yer brain before, so don't use it now if that's the result! You're damn lucky I was here because you nearly got yourself killed! That white boy wasn't gonna stop for you!" Huey's voice grew louder and slammed into him almost as hard as his fist had. If there was one thing about the older that the younger truly disliked, it was the way his voice consumed the room when he was angry. The revolutionary was furious a lot, but he rarely yelled like he was now. It was incredibly painful when one was as embarrassed as Riley most certainly was.

" Okay! I got it! It won't happen again!"

" God, you're an idiot! Are you aware of that or do you need another reminder, because here comes another car!" he sneered, pointing as a sports car sped by. Riley's cheeks flushed as he roughly got to his feet.

" You can take yer ghetto ass back home, Huey! I can handle walkin' up to the front door!" Riley retorted, giving him a small shove backwards before storming off. He could feel his brother's eyes on his back and knew he was being watched. In frustration, he spun back around, " GO HOME, HUEY!!"

" I'm makin' sure your ass doesn't get lost, seeing how you can't walk across the street anymore,"

" OH, Y'KNOW WHAT, ASSHOLE, I AIN'T STUPID!! I CAN WALK UP THE DAMN STEPS AN' RING THE DOORBELL TA MY OWN HOMIE'S HOUSE!! I AIN'T NEED A STUPID ESCORT!!" he roared, clenching his fists tight and glaring as fiercely as he could. Huey's face was impressively expressionless, his arms crossed and his feet planted firmly. He wasn't going anywhere, the thug knew that. He knew his brother was as stubborn as anyone and would never agree to give in when instructed to do something; Huey was too proud to be told what to do by his own little brother.

A minute passed in which both just stood there and glared at the other. Then there was a snap behind Riley's eyes and he felt himself moving forward before it ever processed that he was doing anything. Every thought flew out of his head as the rage crashed down upon him. Words drowned out his rationality as they always did. In a flash, his hand was jerked back and he went to lay the hardest smack he'd ever laid on anyone on that arrogant face. His wrist was caught, his fingers so close to that cheek that he could feel the heat rising up. Huey's expression never changed. He gazed into the younger's blinking eyes with the indifference he was so renown for. At once, Riley realized he'd moved and he'd attempted to smack his brother for no reason other then the way he was being treated by their grandfather. He glanced around quickly, then ripped his arm from the other's grip. Nervously, he stepped back, rubbing the slightly sore area where his brother had been squeezing his flesh.

" You're an idiot, Riley," Huey muttered, turning and walking off as if nothing had ever happened between the first time he'd said that and now. He glanced both ways, then went across the street. In a matter of seconds, he was inside the house and the door was shut. Riley jumped and shivered when said door shut, but he wasn't sure as to why.

Still feeling that chill, the young thug turned away from the uninviting house where he lived and walked up the steps to the mansion across the street. It was as self indulgent as ever. Nothing had changed whatsoever. Yet, when he stood in the driveway, he recalled how his idol, his Licious, had point blank lied to him. His brown eyes softened as he cast a glance at the spot he'd stood less then a week beforehand. He'd stood there and demanded the truth from the one person he'd counted on to never betray his trust. The two of them, there was a world of difference between them and no less then twenty years difference. Still, they'd shared some truly horrible memories of a kidnaping and attempted murder. They'd expressed similar feelings about growing up, wishing to be something they weren't. Then, that night after everything had gone down at his house, Riley had sought the truth from the man who'd been his idol, his friend. And Licious had just shrugged, laughed, and lied, before offering to keep him company for a bit. In the light of day, the spot was just as plain as the rest of the pavement. In the boy's mind eye, though, it was as dark as his makeshift world was turning out to be.

Nothing but a lie with a laugh and a resolute hatred of the word 'gay'.

With that in mind, Riley rang the doorbell of Thugnificent's manor. He'd seen how Licious had reacted to the question. He'd felt the icy coldness of his indifferent brother and his terrified grandfather. He expected nothing worse from his so called friends. Thus, by the time Thug pulled open the door with a happy declaration of his name, Riley had begun to break down. His body shook, his knees gave way, and he started to sob into his hands. All the contemptuous looks, all the disapproval, slammed down upon him as those three rappers stared in complete shock and horror as their little homie broke to pieces in front of them.

" Reezie! Why you crying!?" Thug demanded, touching his shoulder in an almost concerned sort of manner. Riley shook his head, tearing out of his grasp, " Come on, you can tell me, little nigga! What's wrong?!"

What's wrong? Those words swirled in his head as the laughter exploded from his mouth. Everything inside him seemed to shut down as Riley felt his body convulsing from such hysteria. He couldn't control it, nor the tears. He just pointed at Thug's stunned face and laughed at the idiotic question. How could he answer something so pathetically obvious? It was beyond him even to understand why he was laughing about it. He couldn't function. He couldn't even remember why he was sobbing, it was so funny. Riley just stood there, laughing, as he reached forward and grabbed Thug's outstretched hands. The physical contact felt like sandpaper rubbing into his flesh. Instantly he recoiled and the world went blank for less the half a second. That was enough. The reality crashed down into the back of his skull and the loudest scream he'd ever uttered broke forth. He just screamed, screamed and sobbed, as he covered his ears to the sound of his own desperation. Every emotion that had ever swirled in his being rushed out. The trauma of losing his parents so young, the abuse of being the family outcast, the happiness of finally finding friends, the annoyance of his brother, the embarrassment of being so stupid, the shame of being gay. All of it slammed into his eight year old body and he screamed for it, falling to his knees from the sheer power of the memories.

Then his mind was a white slate. It was all out, all gone from his body. This was what he knew was release. This was the cleansing his brother, the precious firstborn, had spoken of when his baby brother had questioned his weird chi positions. This was release. Sitting there on the pavement, surrounded by the severely confused Lethal Interjections, he'd never felt so light in his life. All the guilt and shame was gone. He almost felt empty, as though he was being given a second chance to fill himself up with better emotions and better memories. Slowly, he blinked and glanced around at the expensive sneakers gathered around him. Carefully, he got to his feet and dusted off his butt, before looking up into the wide eyes of the men who looked after him in their own way.

" Are you feelin' aiight, Riley?" Thug questioned, his voice hesitant and unsure. That was the tone the boy was used to by now. The tone his grandfather used when he spoke to him, the tone he was sure everyone would use around him for the rest of his life. Unsure and confused. Before, those emotions had made him feel disgusted with himself. Now, he found it fitting, as that was exactly how he felt when he got down to it.

" Niggas... um... I have somethin' to tell y'all," he calmly said, feeling as though he was in shock. They mimicked his feelings perfectly as they urged him to continue. They didn't know what was coming, they weren't ready for it. They wouldn't accept it, they wouldn't know what to do if they ever decided to. They would turn him away and run in the opposite direction. He knew this, he knew how they'd reacted to Licious. Still, he looked up at their faces and took in a deep breath.

* * *

Riley walked across the street. For the first time, he looked both ways before heading over to his house. He replayed the scene in his head once more as he checked the door and found it locked; he'd known it would be. Taking a seat on the steps, then, he found himself looking back at the fresh memory of his confession to the rappers.

He'd just come out and said it. He was gay and he was becoming quite the cross dresser. His mind was made up and he was sick of pretending he was something he wasn't. Thug had drawn back his hand and the other two had basically run into the house and locked the door. Their reactions were that of those who realized the person they were comforting had a virus that would spread to them and infect them as well. Then, cautiously, Thug had reached forward and touched Riley's shoulder. The others had stopped short in their retreat, staring as their leader knelt down in a very out of character manner. The rapper had the look of someone being forced to apologize for something they were proud of doing. It hadn't been a pleasant moment when he told him it was okay. The tone in his voice was somber, as if he was sad for Riley. Riley had been shocked. Beside himself, he'd demanded to know why it was okay for him to be gay when they'd turned Licious away so coldly. Thug had choked on his words, then stuttered to say no one would think he was gay if a friend was, only if a business partner was. The others had chimed in with 'yeahs' and 'knaameans', nodding feverishly in approval. The thug had watched as they attempted to accept him, to assure him that they were still friends, and he felt hollow inside as they did. That empty feeling began to fill with an emotion he couldn't identify. All he'd done was smile and thank them for being so sweet about their acceptance. He pretended that their very apology wasn't like a knife in his young heart, that the blade wasn't making him die inside. He couldn't explain it. They did the opposite of what everyone else had done and somehow that hurt even worse.

Unable to describe it and even more unable to take it, Riley had just excused himself and tried to head home. Thug hadn't let him. He'd been determined to prove they weren't just faking it. They'd invited him inside for their usual antics. None would take no for an answer, so he'd agreed and gone inside that lavish house. Riley had been shuffled into the living room and treated like a queen, given whatever he wanted. The treatment normally would've made him smile and greedy and demanding. Instead, it left him cold inside and desiring nothing but to leave. After several hours, he'd finally been able to leave, with the excuse that he had to get home for dinner.

Now, he sat alone on the steps of his home and waited for one of his family members to remember he was supposed to be coming home that evening. He could hear the bass of another one of Thug's parties beginning. He hadn't been asked to stay. He hadn't even been informed that the party was going on. The Lethal Interjections may have wanted to save their friendship with him, perhaps only because of his mental meltdown, but they didn't want him to publically be their associate. He was being shut out of something else simply because of his sexuality. The changes that seemed to be popping up everywhere were starting to take their toll on him.

Suddenly, just as he took in a deep breath, the door opened. His older brother leaned over him into his line of sight. That face was set in stone, unfeeling and unforgiving. There was nothing there but the cold slate that had always been there. Nothing could ever shake or change Huey Freeman. Riley knew that, as he slightly moved backwards so that they were perfectly eye level. Those eyes blinked in that manner that told the person he was staring at that they meant nothing. His frown was unapologetic. There was absolutely nothing there, as always.

" You're late fer dinner, Riley. Get off yer ass and get inside before I get yelled at again. And no damn excuses, got it?" he sneered, pulling Riley up by the arm and jerking him inside. The thug winced as his bare feet touched the freezing wooden floors that he was being dragged across. Before they reached the dinner table, though, the revolutionary stopped. His hand shot up and caught the younger in the chest as he went to go around him.

" Nigga, wuz the bi-"

" I heard you screaming earlier," with those few words, everything went still and silent. Riley felt his eyes growing wide as his face burned hot. His slender body went stiff as Huey turned to face him. His expression hadn't changed, hadn't given an inch. There was no real kindness in his eyes, just the hard pressed look of a jaded political figure. Not even his voice lent a hand at compassion. Yet, Riley could feel it dripping from his brother. He knew it and that made him embarrassed beyond reason. He opened his mouth to say something when Huey's hands touched his shoulders. The touch was firm, hard, and commanding.

A moment elapsed in which the brothers looked upon the other. Riley was bewildered and at a complete lost as to what to say. Huey was emotionless in his own apathy. Then, the revolutionary glanced to the side and his face broke it's uncaring look. His eyes softened to the look of concern he rarely gave anyone and his shoulders clenched under stress. He fought the words on the tip of his tongue as Riley watched this show of affection. He saw a shiver rush down the older's back and then, there was that look. Dead, hardened eyes and a tight frown of disapproval. The emotion, it withered before it ever bloomed. Then, like a joke, Huey smiled a half smile that was usually reserved for his best friend, Caesar, in their private moments.

" So, do I call you my little sister now or is little brother still acceptable?" he teased in a deadpan, sarcastic voice that would've brought tears to a lesser being. Instead, Riley broke out in laughter and threw his arms around Huey's waist. There was no hesitation. His older brother squeezed him back, his hands locked around his shoulders in a protective manner he barely ever showed the public.

And, slowly, Riley smiled in an embrace he'd only felt once before, when Huey believed he was going to get killed in a stunt. They held one another close as only siblings could. Huey's smile was gone and was once more replaced by the cool indifference of someone who'd seen this coming and was merely waiting for the right moment to say 'I told you so'. That was a look the thug was familiar with. It was the only look he'd ever really received from his brother. Even though it wasn't a comforting look, it was one that hadn't changed. If there was anyone he could count on to never give him that unsure expression, that nervous tone of voice, it was Huey Freeman. That sort of stability was what he needed now that he'd broken down mentally and constructed a scaffold for himself during this rebuilding period to save what he could of his old existence. He'd been rejected by his idol, turning away by his grandfather, and grudgingly accepted by his companions. He needed a steady foothold from someone who knew him when he was a punk thug wannabe. Someone who wouldn't look at him differently and wouldn't remake the way they treated him simply because he came out of the closet. That was definitely going to be Huey. To him, he'd always be his little brother. That was something he needed, even if he didn't want to admit it.

" Nigga, get the fuck offa me," Riley snapped, shoving him off and rudely dusting his shirt off. Huey rolled his eyes in bored annoyance, " Nigga, you gay,"

" No. You are. And you're going to have to live with that. No matter what the rest of the world says," Huey instructed, hands crossed over his chest. The younger flipped him the bird, one hand on his hip. The older sighed and rubbed his forehead as he started to walk towards the dining room. He stopped in the doorframe and looked over his shoulder, " If they can't accept you for who you are, Riley, they aren't worth the time. I've told you that before. You shouldn't have to fake it anymore. It's degrading to you and your culture and your sexuality. You've already degraded yourself enough. You should at least be proud of this. So... if no one else will say it, I will. There's nothing wrong with being gay,"

" An' just what would you know 'bout bein' gay?" Riley hissed, despite the elation surging to life inside him. Huey glanced to the left, away from him, then back at him.

" My little brother's a drag queen. I happen to know a lot,"

With that, Huey turned away and was gone. Riley was left standing there, watching as he walked off. This time, the exit didn't feel cold and harsh. He blinked, confused about what he felt at that moment. Perhaps it was gratitude that someone had finally told him that he wasn't wrong in his choice. Perhaps it was embarrassment that his brother knew his inner thoughts. Perhaps it was sorrow because of all people, his uncaring brother was the only one reaching out to him. Nevertheless, he knew he still had a long road of ahead of him before everything was settled with him coming out of the closet.

First of all, he still had to tell Ed and Rummy he was gay.

* * *

A/N- So... that chapter completely fucked over the plan I was so proud of before... thank you, Riley... so, how 'bout that mental breakdown? Warning notice: first asshole to say Riley's acting emo gets banned from my site. I'm not joking. Emo is when you sob when nothing is wrong. When you're confused about who you are and everyone keeps shutting you down and you cry, it's not emo. It's normal. So, fuck off. If you don't know what emo is, shut the fuck up.

Sorry. I hate people who call things emo when they're not.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed it.

BTW- I'm gonna come right out and say it: I have no fucking idea what the other Lethal Interjection members' names are. Sorry. But I don't. I don't really care either, but if you wanna tell me, be my guest. I'll probably never use 'em, seeing how the only member I like is Thug, but, yeah, might be important at some point.

That's all.


	3. Telling the Homies Pt 2

A/N- I have published a book. Check my profile for details.

Also, I have a new poll up about a summer M rated oneshot featuring a random couple I've never really done before. Go vote for your favorites.

Sorry for the wait but here's the next chapter to my Riley-in-drag story.

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

Sometimes, there is an instant when one knows one is doomed for all eternity to suffer the same sort of horror. It's merely a moment in time when everything in one's head ceases to function and all that matters is that the same, single event continues to plague one's life. That was pretty much how Riley felt as he stood there on the porch, covering his face and silently screaming. His purse hit the ground as she shrieked and fell backwards. She stared in wide eyed terror and disbelief as the other girl blushed from ear to ear and shivered. He just wished he could be shot dead or disappear through the ground, which ever would be less painful. No matter which it were, he knew it would be less traumatic then watching as those two females gave him the same look it seemed everyone was destined to give him for the rest of his life.

For a moment, he just wanted to scream, to cry, to run back inside and hide behind his forever slow brother. Then there was a snap behind his eyes. That familiar snap that lingered in every Freeman's eyes. That spark that made the family as insane and unbelievably wild as they were. He didn't lower his hands and pout or even scream. His body marched down that driveway, trembling with anger. The girl standing drew back on instinct. Her eyes widened as his hand snatched up the shirt of the fallen female. Then they were eye to eye.

" YOU GOT A STARIN' PROBLEM, CINDY?! ANYTHIN' I 'AN HELP YOU WIT, BITCH?! OR YOU JUST BE NEEDIN' A BEAT DOWN!!!" he roared down into her blue eyes and pale face. She blinked, but wasn't necessarily effected. Jazmine, though, squeaked and hurried over to the front porch where Huey was walking out, sipping some water.

" Hu-ey!!! Riley's going to kill Cindy! You have to stop him!" she sobbed, grasping his arm and pleading with her over large green eyes. The older boy cast a glance in her direction, but the look was not friendly. Sighing, however, he jerked out of her clingy fingers and made his way over to where Riley was pulling his fist back to break Cindy's jaw.

" Riley... let her go," he commanded in that unfeeling, uncaring tone of voice that always hurt. The thug twitched from head to toe, turning wide, vicious eyes on him, " Let her go,"

" YOU AIN'T 'POSED TA TAKE HER SIDE, HUEY!!!" he screeched, throwing her into the ground and twisting to face the other. The revolutionary swirled his glass of water, blinking in response. Riley gritted his teeth, then smacked the glass from his hands. It shattered as he drew close to his older brother, closing the gap with one step. They were immediately an inch from one another, " You got somethin' ta say ta me, nigga? 'Cause you been a real bitch,"

" Shut up, Riley. You're being paranoid,"

" Oooh... I'm paranoid? _I'm_ paranoid?" he teased, giving a wicked smile. Huey's expression didn't even change, " WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WIT YOU!! SAY SOMETHIN'!! REACT!! ANSWER ME!!!"

" You didn't ask me anything. You're mocking me like the child you are. I'm not going to play into such a pathetic attempt to embarrass me," Huey calmly stated, as if he knew exactly how to side step this game. The younger glared, his breathing uneven and unsteady. His hands clenched at his side, he knew he should just walk away, but he couldn't take his eyes off this creature that was his older brother. The two girls stared at the conflict they'd grown up with. They knew what was coming, but they still flinched.

Riley swung a punch and Huey's knee connected with his stomach. The thug's wrist was grabbed and he was flipped onto his back. His head smacked into the cement and then there was the pressure of Huey pinning him down. They were once again only inches from each other. This time, though, Riley couldn't move. He was held down and could only look into that still unfazed face.

He'd lost again. Nothing ever would change with his sibling. Huey Freeman could and would still kick his ass, just like he'd always look at him like he was a stupid child. Just the evening before, Riley had come to terms with this and had been grateful for the steady constant in his dying realm of normality. Laying there, underneath the unmovable revolutionary, his head was flooded with a million things he wanted to say. He wanted to scream at him for doing it again, for beating him so shamefully in public. He wanted to thank him for not going easy on him simply because he was in a skirt today. He wanted to ask him to get off, as the cement was rough against his bare back. He wanted to beg him to hold him as he cried because he was still the same Riley he'd always been but no one saw that.

He wanted to, but he didn't. He was a gay drag queen, currently dressed in a pleated mini skirt and a tight tube top. He was pitifully in love with fashion and jewelry. He was in the midst of the backlash from a mental meltdown. He was, but that didn't mean he was ever going to let Huey know what he was feeling laying there, glaring up at him. Thus, he thrust his hands up and shoved the older off. Muttering swear words, he stumbled to his feet and dusted off his dirty skirt.

" Nigga, you gay," he mumbled, flipping his brother the bird. That face didn't change, so Riley stuck his tongue out and sauntered back over to the porch. Jazmine's eyes followed him in that quiet fear she was so well known for. He ignored her as those green orbs watched him pick up his purse. Then he ignored her as he swept down the steps and back over to where Huey was standing in quiet boredom, " Can we go now?"

" Whatever you say....Princess,"

" Nigga! Don't chu call me that!" Riley hissed, swinging another pointless punch at his older brother. Huey avoided it with a smack of his hand and a tilt of his head. Ignoring the dirty look he was being cast, the older Freeman steered the younger off the driveway towards the sidewalk. His grip wasn't kind, but it didn't need to be. Riley gave a small struggle, if only for the show, before they reached the sidewalk and he was shoved forward, " Man, you need ta learn some manners,"

" Just because you're in a dress doesn't mean I have to act like you're a girl," Huey answered nonchalantly. Riley didn't bother starting a fight, for he knew it would end similarly to the previous one. His back was already throbbing. He didn't need to be thrown to the ground again.

Instead, he just shuffled down the cracked pavement after Huey's retreating back. His brother didn't slow his stride for his brother. He just marched down the path to the Wuncler Estate, which was where they were currently headed. Riley felt his feet dragging, a reluctance flooding over his every move. As grateful as he was that the revolutionary would never treat him differently, Cindy and Jazmine's reactions hadn't been a grand start to the morning. He was supposed to go see Ed and Rummy today in order to come out to them. He had purposefully worn a skirt for the occasion. Walking outside to see the horror on the two female's faces, however, hadn't given him the confidence he thought he needed to do this. Right then, slowing to a stop, Riley wasn't sure if he could go through with this. So far, Granddad had completely shifted his view of him, the Lethal Interjections looked upon him like a sickly individual, and both of the girls were horrified just because he had decided to change what he wore. He wasn't sure how much more rejection he could handle. To be honest, he wasn't even sure if it was the rejection he feared at this point. He was almost certain that he was tired of learning that no one in his life truly liked him for who he was.

As much as it pained him to admit it, he knew Huey was right. If his friends were really his friends, then they would accept that he was a gay drag queen and move on with their lives. Throughout the process, though, the single solitary person to just shrug it off was Huey himself. Huey, as he told him, had always known he was gay, so it wasn't like a surprise or anything. As for everyone else, their reactions had been frighteningly less then positive. For an eight year old whom had never really had any positive enforcement to begin with, Riley knew he was drowning. He was sinking under the pressure that came with this label. He felt like screaming all over again, if only because his head was going under and there was no one with a life jacket waiting to save him. How could he honestly walk himself up to two more people who would only pour more water over his head and watch him disappear under the waves? Why couldn't he just stay inside and grab hold of whatever sanity he still had and try to survive in isolation? Why couldn't he salvage his life rather then destroy more pieces of it?

The walking came to an abrupt halt. Riley just outright stopped, his hands twisting up the strap of his purse. Before his eyes were the sandals he was wearing and the pretty flawless nail polish glittering on his toes. The ground was cold, hard, and cracked like his world. There was no easy way, he realized, out of the closet. He could be a teenager and he could be an adult, but it wouldn't matter. The world wasn't accepting of who he was. Why couldn't he salvage his life? That was one of the easiest questions he'd ever asked himself. He couldn't salvage what wasn't there. If his Granddad didn't want to look at him in his skirts and heels, then there wasn't a relationship there worth having. If the Lethal Interjections couldn't like him the same, then he didn't want to fight for that affection. If the girls weren't friendly anymore, then they weren't really his friends. He shouldn't have to hide in a garage to avoid ridicule and disgust from people he treasured. He shouldn't have to dread seeing his two closest friends. He shouldn't have to salvage anything. He should only have to be himself. If he couldn't be that, then he couldn't be anything.

The scream building into his throat seemed to vanish out of thin air. Riley didn't want to cry anymore. He was tired of being the one crying himself to sleep and screaming himself hoarse. If the brother who hated him could like him just the same, then the friends who loved him should be able to do the same. Huey was right. They weren't his friends if they couldn't. He was gay and there was no shame in that. Nodding stiffly then, Riley jogged across the jagged sidewalk to where Huey was still marching. The thug didn't know how he would feel after he saw Ed and Rummy. He knew that every time he rebuilt his defenses, something else brought them crashing down. This time, however, he was ready to fight for himself and his right to be who he was.

* * *

The Wuncler Estate was one of the most impressive buildings in Woodcrest. The thing towered above everything and everyone that approached it. Whenever Riley saw it, he wanted to stand there for a second just to admire what could be done when the price tag was alarming but the check right. Thus, he looked upon it as his brother swore at the white gate keeper to let them inside. As the gate swung open, the gate keeper buzzed up to the mansion to inform Ed Wuncler that they were there. Huey didn't wait for niceties or permission. Once that gate was open, he was inside, his hand latched around one of his little brother's wrists. Huey wasn't gentle, but he did get the job done. By the time Riley snapped out of his daze, they were opening the front door and halfway inside the foyer. He blinked a couple of times, then jerked out of the revolutionary's grip. He rubbed his wrist as he looked around at all the marble and expensive looking vases that littered the corners of this massive homestead.

Out of nowhere, however, there came a hysterically loud exclaim of his name. Two sets of footsteps came pounding from the stairs across the way long before the two militants appeared. Automatically, Huey's dark eyes narrowed in that familiar aggression. Riley, though, could only swallow dryly as his two pals came barreling down the marble spiral steps. A sinking feelings was dragging his former confidence away at the seams, leaving him shaking and afraid of the disgust and terror that would streak across those faces.

Ed stopped first. His eyes widened as he skidded to a stop about seven feet away from the child in drag. His red hair was a mess, his clothes dirty as if he'd slept in them, and a machine gun was slung over one shoulder. He looked just like he always did. Only this time, he looked stunned, which was something of a rarity with the unshakable heir. Rummy was next. He nearly collided with his longtime friend. He just barely avoided the collision by jerking around him with a swearword. Then he too noticed just what their accomplice was dressed in. His shades were pushed into his golden cornrows as he tilted his head to the side. He was dressed in his undershirt and pants, a gun over his shoulder as well, but the look on his face made him appear less familiar. The two stared at Riley for a long moment of tense silence. Then, slowly, Rummy moved his shades back down over his eyes as the former army boys exchanged a look. Finally, though, Rummy said something just as Riley felt like bolting to save himself this humiliation.

" Uh. . . is there somethin' you'd like to tell us, Riley?" Rummy asked in a steady voice. Ed merely shifted his gun from one shoulder to the next as if it were a nervous habit. Riley looked from one of them to the next. He didn't know what he ought to say. He couldn't tell what the look on their faces meant. The shock was wearing away and leaving something cold like the kind of expressions his older brother often cast him.

Regardless of the expression, though, there was no reason to dance around this confession. Squeezing his eyes shut, then, Riley took in a deep breath and told the two of them the reason he was there. He was gay and he was a drag queen. The words felt heavy and hard on his tongue. No matter how many times he said them inside his mind, they felt strange coming out of his mouth. He knew, of course, that his previous phobia of this lifestyle probably lead to that sensation. Still, he said them. The moment after they were spoken, however, Riley opened his eyes. He longed to keep them shut, to shield himself from the initial reaction. Something wouldn't let him. He opened his eyes and found them staring up at the two soldiers with an expectance he didn't recognize right away as hope. When he figured it out, Riley couldn't grasp what he was hoping for. Was he hoping them didn't hate him or was he hoping that they would accept him? Was there a difference?

Before he could figure out if there was, Rummy smiled. The shock vanished from his blue eyes as his white teeth were displayed. A jolt of uncertainty rendered Riley speechless. His eyes widened when Rummy laughed a little, his hands on his hips. He honestly looked like he'd just heard the best punch line in his entire life. Sickness flooded into Riley's stomach then. He knew that they thought this was some kind of joke. They were expecting him to laugh it off or point at their faces for daring to believe him for a second. Just as he was about to turn and walk away, however, Rummy waved his hand in the air as if discarding the idea.

" Like that's news. Okay, so I didn't peg you for a trannie, but, the gay thing, that's not news," Rummy declared with a hearty laugh. Riley felt his mouth dropping open, his eyes widening to the point of being physically painful. There were no words, honestly, to describe the sort of emotions rushing together in his already stressed mind. He was left speechless for longer then he wanted to admit as Rummy snickered, " What?"

" Y'all _knew?!"_ he exclaimed, pointing at that grinning face behind those shades. Rummy gave a light shrug as he swung the gun from his shoulder to the ground. Riley shivered in a chill he couldn't place.

" It wasn't difficult to figure, nigga. Man, the way y'all acted around ice was all I needed. I ain't never met a straight nigga who ever idolized diamonds the way you do," Rummy explained in a halfhearted way. Huey gave him a strange sort of look that made him clear his throat, " 'Sides, Riley, you said it yerself. You didn't like bitches,"

" I always said I never knew how no one ever saw it but me," Huey muttered under his breath just loud enough that Riley could hear him. A slight blush crossed his otherwise blank face, his eyes shooting a glare at his older brother. Again, Rummy shrugged as though this was absolutely no big deal to him. Apparently, he really had known and had already come to terms with this reveal.

Ed, on the other hand, continued to stare at Riley in that distantly stunned way. His green eyes looked up and down at the mini skirt and tube top the child was dressed in. The relief of actually having someone act nonchalant about his sexuality was fading the longer the heir stared at him. That dreadful feeling was starting to creep up Riley's spine all over again. His throat ran dry as his muscles tightened. He didn't know why, but his body reacted to this potential disgust much like a physical blow. When it was finally delivered, of course, it felt as physical as any punch Huey laid on his body. Waiting for the heir to throw it his way thus made Riley sick. His stomach churned, turning quickly into lead, as he shivered from a cold fright that was washing over him. Ed took a couple steps forward, his expression never changing. Both Huey and Rummy gave him equally questioning looks, though it was certain that their internal questions varied greatly.

Without warning, Ed flipped up Riley's skirt, revealing his bright pink bikini cut panties complete with frills and bows in the front.

" PANTIES!!!" Ed yelled, grinning madly as if this was some sort of game. The very next second, his back crashed into the ground as Huey's boot made solid contact with his face. There was a loud smack as the heir collided with the marble floor right before Huey jumped into the air. He slammed both feet down onto Ed's stomach as Rummy broke out in various swears directed at the two of them. The redhead's gasping apologies could just barely be heard over the racket, " I'm sorry, nigga! I had to! I-ow- can't help myself!"

" Dammit, Ed! There is a time and a place for that and this is neither the time nor the place! He's not even the age, you stupid bitch!" Rummy roared down at him as Huey nailed the heir in the skull with one last roundhouse kick that laid him out flat on the floor.

" You _ever_ do that to my brother again, and you'll regret it, got it?" Huey sneered down at Ed's twitching form. Rummy continued to shout obscenities about the event, covering his eyes with one hand. When he got no response, the revolutionary jerked away from the fallen soldier. Instead, he turned his harsh eyes on the silent and utterly stunned Riley, " You aiight, nigga?"

" Uh. . . yea', man, I cool," Riley mumbled, blinking several times to get the shock to wear off. His hands locked into place at the edge of his skirt, restraining it to any other attempts. A furious blush then rushed over his face when he realized that everyone had seen what he was wearing. Groaning a bit, he turned away from the three older men. His brother deemed him fine and launched into a lengthy, curse filled lecture as to why Ed would regret flipping up Riley's skirt in the future. Rummy fell silent as he just nodded in agreement with the revolutionary.

Behind them, a slow, hesitant smile began to cross Riley's lips. Weird fetishes aside, neither Ed nor Rummy had changed their opinion of him since that closet door had creaked open. Perhaps that was because they'd already come to terms with it. Maybe that had to do with their general acceptance of strange occurrences. Whatever the reason, they weren't giving him dirty looks and falsely sweet words that felt like sandpaper. They were continuing to be the idiots that he had come to know and love. The scene before him was so familiar that Riley couldn't help but smile. After losing the majority of the normality in his life, it was comforting to know that some things would never change. The fact that he could add Ed and Rummy to that incredibly short list was more of a relief then anything. True, he didn't know if things would change the longer he was there at that estate. At that time, though, he was merely observing Huey giving Ed and Rummy a nearly pointless speech. A couple weeks ago, he had been doing the same thing. That he could do this now, while in a skirt and holding a purse, was more then enough to make him smile.

For all his smiles, though, Riley knew at that moment more then he ever had that there was one person's whose reaction would not be as positive. There was still one last person to talk to about his decision to open the closet door. Unfortunately, this person suffered from severe closet phobia. Whatever relaxation he was feeling, whatever stability he had gathered, Riley knew what lay before him at the end of one telephone call. The ultimate rejection, the purest detestation, that he would ever receive lingered in the future Still, that night, he knew, he was going to place that call. He had to tell him, had to confront him, one last time, if only so he could move on his life as a gay gangster.

Riley had to tell Gangstalicious that he was out of the closet.

Somehow, even then, Riley knew that Licious was going to be less then thrilled to hear the news. In fact, he knew even then what was going to happen. Nothing, however, could actually prepare him for the inevitable.


	4. Telling Licious

A/N- Please go take my new poll. The winning couple will get a M-rated oneshot in a Christmas/winter theme. Vote for up to three couples. The poll will be up until Dec. 1st, 2009. Thanks.

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

The phone was a standard black phone. It sat in it's stand, cracked in one corner from a verbal argument between friends. There were fingerprint smudges on it. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had ever bothered to clean it. To be honest, he wasn't even sure when it had arrived in their classy makeshift home. He knew that they used to have a white phone. His grandfather had complained for months about being able to see all the dirty fingerprints on the white one. His brother had always had a slightly racist problem with it, of course. He, though, hadn't really paid much attention to it. Now it had been exchanged for a sleek black thing with fresh, new cracks. He didn't know who'd put them there. He was almost positive his brother had. Then again, Huey wasn't the type of person to throw phones. He was more of a repeat slammer then a thrower. Process of elimination left himself and his grandfather, which meant that it was his fault regardless of who had actually done it. He let out a small groan then, wondering when he would be hearing about that. For everything that was going wrong, he knew eventually Granddad would notice the cracked phone and he would be getting it somehow.

Sighing then, Riley slumped against the armrest of the living room couch. In front of him, resting on the end table, was said black phone with it's annoying cracks. He continued to stare at it, his arms draped over the solid and hard armrest. There really wasn't a reason why he was staring at it. However, that was exactly what he had been doing since Huey had walked him home from the Wuncler estate. After a couple hours of listening to the three of them go back and forth about cheating at video games, Huey had grabbed his little brother's arm and dragged him from the house. Riley had tried to escape, if only because he had finally found some friends that still saw him as human. He was no match, though, for his older brother. The revolutionary had snapped something about a headache, thrown him over his shoulder, and carried him kicking and screaming off the property. Within a couple of minutes, he had been slammed down onto the front porch without any say in it. To be fair, Riley had attempted to run back to the Wuncler estate. That escape, however, had earned him a blow to the head that he could still feel throbbing. Huey hadn't even softened the kick. He had just slammed his shin into his little brother's skull and dragged his semi conscious body into the house.

Since then, Riley had been sitting on the couch, staring at the phone. Once his head had stopped spinning, he had remembered the last person he had to call. The thought had been something fleeting, just his name. Yet, that had been all it took to wipe away the calm serenity of Ed and Rummy's usual antics. As grateful as he was that those two still appreciated his existence, they could not lessen the anxiety of calling Licious. Perhaps it was the fear of rejection, heightened only that much more by the negative reinforcement of his grandfather and the Lethal Interjection's reactions to his confession. Perhaps it was the trauma of watching his idol turn his head and scoff at the idea of being homosexual. Whatever it was, Riley found himself unable to pick up that phone.

Three hours had passed since the moment he had groggily sat up on the couch. All three had melted away as he watched that phone. He regarded it as though it could burn him. In his mind, it most certainly could. To touch it, to call that man, was to commit himself one hundred percent to the lifestyle that was proving to be more toxic then anything he had ever seen. He could say it was all a joke, laugh it off, and everyone would be just fine with that. Huey would roll his eyes and leave him lying through his teeth to wait for him to grow up. Granddad would thank God and move him back into his brother's room, pretending this had never happened. The Lethal Interjections would tease him mercilessly, but would completely ignore the breakdown they had witnessed to return to normal. Ed and Rummy wouldn't believe him as they just nodded and accepted his reluctance until he finally gave in when he was older and confessed again. The girls would be grateful for the take back. Everything could go back to the way it was. He could act like a fool and be normal and just deal with his sexuality when he wasn't at home, wasn't in Woodcrest, wasn't a child. He could just swallow it all and laugh hysterically until everyone left him alone and stopped giving him that disapprovingly disgusted look they all seemed to have mastered in an instant.

If he called Gangstalicious and confessed to him, however, he couldn't pretend that this had never happened. There would be no changing how Licious saw him if he told him. If there was ever someone who would reject him, it was his one true idol. Riley knew it then, knew it before, that he was going to be rejected. Licious was going to shove him away as hard and fast as he could. He was going to slam every door in his face until there was nothing between them but the past. Even that, then, would fade away as time drifted away, drawing them further and further apart. For his entire life, Riley had prayed that he could become friends with a true gangster, a true idol of his cause. He had never gotten that far. He had found his way into Gangstalicious's world, discovered how fake he was, and still he wanted to be apart of that gilts and glamour world. For a while, he had achieved that. He had been able to talk to Licious like true homies, true friends. Then that world had come crashing down when that book had been published, when that secret had been flaunted before the world. Licious had shown his true colors without even meaning to. He had denied everything, lied through his teeth, and bashed his own subculture. There was no doubt that when he found out what Riley wanted to tell him, his love for that rapper's world, the world that he himself had tried so feverishly to enter, would mean nothing next to the confession itself. He would step out of the closet only to have the door to his entire world slammed in his face. Telling Licious would be the final straw, the last puzzle piece to leaving his previous existence behind. All this, and he already knew what the picture would look like when it was completed.

Like a big, black hole coming to swallow him up without pity, concern, or warning.

There was fear of that picture that made Riley want to run to the garage to his new bedroom so he could hide under the bed and cry. He had been thrown for too many loops too fast for an eight year old. His sexuality was becoming that disease everyone was acting like it was. Only it wasn't the disease they saw it as. They saw it as something disfiguring, something contagious that would infect them all should he truly have it. That wasn't the kind of sickness it was turning out to be. Instead, Riley wasn't even the one infected. This homosexuality was infecting everyone he came in contact with. It made them rotten from the core, made them turn into monsters who glared at him with such disgust. He didn't know how he was supposed to stare down such a disease, such fury, when he wasn't even man enough to fight a school yard bully alone.

Still, his hand reached out and picked up that cracked black phone. His whole body shook violently as he punched in the numbers he knew by heart. Riley didn't know what made him dial that phone number when he was staring rejection in the face. Perhaps he was delirious. Perhaps he was hopeful. Perhaps he was having another mental breakdown and his method was self destruction. Either way, he placed the receiver to his ear and listened to the hollow rings echoing out. Around him, the whole house held it's breath. He had no idea what he was going to say should Licious answer. He didn't know what he would do if he didn't. All he knew was that the phone was ringing and he wanted to throw up.

" Yo, 'sup, this Gangstalicious," came that slang voice on the other end of the universe, startling Riley enough to make his heart jolt. There was a second when the thug could only choke on the air, unable to say anything at all. He heard a voice coming from the phone, sounding slightly angry. Before he could register what was being said, though, he was talking without any sort of thought process. The words just slipped out in a jumbled mess.

" 'Ey, I'm sorry 'bout the other night. But, man, I really need to talk to you, Licious. I. . I got somethin' I need ta tell ya, an' I ain't sure how to say it, sos, I'm just gonna say it. Nigga, I. . I'm. . . man, I'm gay, aiight? I'm gay. I wanted ta tell chu, but, you weren't like. . bein' cool 'bout it when we talked an'. . an' I jus' wanted ta tell you, aiight?" he rushed to say, his voice slurring in the middle for his hurry. When he was done, however, he didn't hear anything at all. Riley blinked a couple of times, breathing deeply, as a trickle of panic ran down his spine. Swallowing hard, he glanced at the phone shaking in his grip, " Yo, Lish, you there?"

" Riley? Nigga, is that you?" Licious answered in a confused, shaking sort of voice that was borderline alarm. The Freeman choked out a 'yes', observing how his toes seem to go numb in absolute shock. Something about that voice made his blood run cold long before his idol said the words that he had been dreading the past three hours. A chill washed over his flesh, crawling into his mind the moment he heard that sharp voice offer him the first accusation, " Did. . . did chu say you was gay?"

" Yea'. . . I wanted ta talk to chu 'bout it. . . like. . in person,"

" Person? L-like. . . come get chu or somethin'?" his voice hesitated, halting prematurely throughout both sentences. The questions didn't have to be questions, but they were. They hadn't been questions the last night they'd spoken, the last time they'd hung out playing video games in the back of the limo. Like the majority of everything Riley had heard in the past couple days, however, that had changed. The sinking feeling that he was dropping into the dark abyss became that much stronger as he confirmed his plans. The pause that followed was similar to a knife in the heart, twisting harder and harder until he bled out. There hadn't been a pause the last time. There hadn't been a need for confirmation either. That, too, had changed. Then, finally, there came the sound of Licious clearing his throat, " Um. . . yeah. . . man, fer you. . . sure. I'll be there. . . gimme half hour. ."

" Aiight. . . see yous then," Riley muttered as the phone went dead in his hand. A frozen layer of ice had settled in over his shivering body. Heat was rushing to his face, tears flooding his eyes. Riley couldn't explain it. The devastation of those subtle, almost unnoticeable changes in such a short conversation meant so much more then everything he had gone through already. A piercing pain went right through his heart as he lowered the phone onto the hook. In any other situation, he wasn't even sure if he would have ever noticed a pause, a hesitation, a question when compared to a similar discussion. Right then, however, they were so painfully obvious. Licious hadn't even said anything remotely negative, but his repulsion was so clear. The tone said it all. He didn't need to jerk back, to stare, when his voice held every ounce of disgust of every other person combined.

Slowly, though, Riley slipped off the couch. His knees nearly buckled as the first tear rolled down his cheek. He choked them down, defiantly rubbing them away before any more could stain his face. The first couple steps were difficult to take. They shook and he almost stumbled, but he managed. By the time he reached the front door, his heart was beating as hard as it could. He felt like his stomach was turning into lead, swirling with acid. His feet stuck to the ground, weighing him down. Yet, for all that, he twisted that knob and stepped barefoot into the slightly humid night. The sun had set, leaving Woodcrest and Timber Deer Lane in shadowed darkness. Into this uncertainty, Riley walked, heading for the curb at the end of the driveway. Every step made his head swim as that panicked terror consumed him in a furious bout of shivers.

He knew that this conversation was going to be full of pauses, hesitations, and questions that shouldn't have been there. He knew that this one was going to leave him screaming himself hoarse, desperately trying to hide in a closet he couldn't keep closed any longer. This was the final step towards his new life, his new future, his new horizon. That step was in the dark, alone, to wait for the worse rejection, the worse reaction he would probably ever experience in his life. That step made him shake uncontrollably, on the verge of tears, in the midst of physical sickness. That step was so terrifying he practically broke down in hysterics a million times before he sat down on that cold curb just a couple feet from his new bedroom. However, that step was the most important one. Riley knew that. He knew that as he huddled in the darkness, staring at the shadows that crept towards him, waiting for his idol to destroy his sanity one last time. Maybe this time, he would be able to put the pieces together to stand up and face that horizon with the strength he had tried to have this entire time. Thus, he sat and he waited, shivering in quiet terror and solid resolve to face this head on like he knew he had to.

* * *

Gangstalicious never came.

For two hours, Riley sat out on the curb in the darkening night, in the growing cold, shivering and sobbing into his hands. His idol never showed up. There was no phone call offering any sort of explanation. There was simply the unadulterated fact that Licious had rejected him so fiercely, he didn't even wish to see him or put up any sort of farce. That sort of utter and complete disgust was crushing in ways that Riley couldn't even begin to comprehend. His body ached in a furious sort of way, his head numb in the same pain. His tears felt hollow, empty as they fell from his chin to the dirty street. Before him was the stretch of road that no car had traveled down in over an hour. There was a mocking echo only he could hear then as he choked on a cry he didn't want to let out. Burying his face in his hands didn't, couldn't, change that Licious hadn't come. There really wasn't anything that could, save for a phone call that he knew was never coming. For all their connections, all their time together, one small detail had ended their relationship in the cruelest of ways. Licious didn't come and he wasn't going to. Riley knew he had to accept that, even if all he wanted to do was lay down and never wake up again.

Before he could, however, a wash of yellow light swept over his knees from behind. Hiccupping, Riley looked up clumsily, his vision blurred from the tears he couldn't wipe away fast enough. Standing idly a couple feet away was his older brother, holding a flashlight by his side. Huey was dressed in his pajamas, the shirt undone to reveal the night shirt underneath. His dark eyes were cast in deep shadow, adding to the harsh stare he was so gifted at casting around. The look he gave the thug was unpleasant annoyance. That same hardness that felt like a brick wall over steel that he always wore. Seeing it in that darkened abandonment that was settling in, Riley only saw the familiarity written on those cold lines. A small sense of calm rose up within the sea of grief as he pushed his hands over his cheeks to rid himself of any remaining tears.

" He. . . he. . . he didn't come," Riley said in a quiet voice that sounded like an echo of his own boisterous voice. His brother gave a short nod in answer, his feet making soft thuds as he made his way over. Without asking if he could, he took a seat beside his little brother. He didn't say anything, though. He remained that silent wall, those eyes glaring off into the distance at something only he could see. The comfort from that glare was immeasurable, " I. . . I. . . I thought he wuzz gonna at least. . . come, y'know?"

" I didn't," Huey stated in the surest, most unfeeling way he probably ever could. Riley hiccupped one last time, rubbing his eyes. A small, unsure smile formed on his lips at his brother's callous manner. Huey didn't apologize for the brash observation of the situation. He never did and he never would. Somehow, that made Riley's smile a bit more certain, a bit wider.

" Nigga, you stupid," was all that the thug could think to say, the lightest laugh leaving his mouth. His words were met by a sideways stare that was as cutthroat as the most notorious gangster's. Whereas others might draw away and cower, Riley felt his tears evaporating underneath the scrutiny only his brother could give. Coughing, he lowered his head, ignoring the stare as he normally did. The flashlight was placed on the ground between them without warning, making him jump a little. When he turned his eyes back to the other, Huey had his head tilted back so he was staring up at the starlight sky beyond the trees and houses.

There was silence then, the comment left to hang in the balance of the conflicting worlds of the two Freeman brothers. For a moment, Riley just looked on as the more jaded of the two gazed up in that deadpan manner at the sky. Then, slowly, he too looked upwards. All he could see was a slate of darkness sprinkled with small specks of light. There really wasn't anything there he hadn't seen before. He had spent many nights laying out on the rooftop, avoiding punishments and homework, tracing his name in the stars. That night, though, he didn't do anything so vain. Rather, he took in all that he could, although he wasn't sure just what he was seeing. He knew Huey probably knew all the names to all the stars, all the constellations, if only because it was such a Huey thing to know. He didn't ask. He merely looked and enjoyed the simplicity the night sky had to present him with. In the time it took for him to look at every blinking dot, then, he felt the shivers sliding away. The cold began to lift as he saw the future, the untold, in that black skyline. There was nothing conclusive, nothing concrete, about that realm stretching beyond the manmade exterior of Woodcrest. There was nothing but a blanket of darkness that held infinite possibility. Instead of focusing on the bleak reality, though, Riley turned his mind to the promising probability.

His world was gone. He was no longer an accepted member of the Lethal Interjections. He was no longer the threat to Cindy's world. He was no longer the less agonizing grandson. He was no longer a friend of Gangstalicious. He couldn't pretend he was a butch bully, a true believer in the thug lifestyle. He couldn't be the troublesome punk child in baggy clothes. That world was gone, shattered by the opening of one single door that really wasn't even that important. After all, it was merely a closet. Still, his world was in shambles. He needed to pick up the pieces to face tomorrow. He had the reluctant semi-acceptance of his grandfather. He had the unwavering friendship of Ed and Rummy. He had the unshakeable support of his brother. There wasn't much else he could piece back together. However, there was plenty of room for growth, for possibility. He knew who his true friends were. That had been an eye opening experience he wouldn't soon forget. He had discovered the depth of Huey's love for him, even if it was completely hidden beneath that locked exterior. More importantly, he had learned what he was capable of withstanding. Riley had taken more hits then he ever had and he was still standing. He may have been blind sighted, hit below the belt, and kicked when he was down, but he was still standing. That alone made up for every blow he had taken. If he was still standing, then he could still walk away and pick up the pieces. He could make it through this. He knew this road wasn't going to be easy, but he knew it was a path he had to go down. He had opened that closet door and he had admitted that he was homosexual. There was no turning back. Regardless of the future pain, Riley knew he had faced the worse of it. He could handle the rest. He had his whole future ahead of him, after all. In time, those doors that had shut in front of him because of this one little detail would open up to new possibilities. Somehow, he would get there, to his happy ending.

" Thanks, Huey," he whispered, breaking the silence as he continued to stare up at the endless sky above. The horizon may have been dark, unforgiving at that, but he saw the small sparkles of light. To those, he smiled a confident grin as he felt a gentle pat on his knee. The touch was withdrawn before he could even acknowledge it. Yet, he smiled that much wider anyways.

" Anytime, Riley,"

* * *

Not the end. Please, review if you liked what you read. And take my poll! Thanks.


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